Oh no - I'm not ready yet.
I'm always the first one to get ready, no matter if it's another girls night out or the rich cousin's wedding.
It's not that I'm that fast or super skilled at hair and makeup, or that I start my routine 6h before everyone else. Just the opposite.
One time, I had an acid peel 3 days before a wedding and got all scabby everywhere I had acne - which was all over my face at that time. There wasn't much I could do without making my face fall apart, so my look consisted of a light foundation plus staying in the dark.
Then another time, I had it all under control ( yeah, right!) when my mom barged in, furious with the paint job some makeup enthusiast had done on her face. God knows I didn't want my mom in a shitty mood the whole reception until it was a civilised time to ditch it because, you know, my grandma or whatever. So I stopped what I was doing to fix the eye shadow that made her look like she was permanently squinting, and just went with a thick eyeliner afterwards.
And getting ready for the club with the girls? Well, somebody needed to keep the group's balance and donate their time to assure that one diva friend that Noooo, the red dress she wants to wear so badly to send a message to her ex DOES NOT make her look like a whore.
I was fine playing the badass that can't deal with powder room drama, and just rely on my blue, orange or purple hair and my Brazilian Japanese-ness to look CrazySexyCool. But this time it's different: I'm not nearly picture-perfect ready and it's my own big event, goddammit!
It really is all about me, and I'm scared shitless.
There's no dude's name adjacent to mine, it's not my parents inviting friends and family to celebrate my coming of age, and I've long parted ways with any divas.
Just my name hovering this website, all confident, while in real life my production gets constantly delayed by Portugal's biweekly holidays, a manufacturer ghosts me, and a photographer decides to collaborate with me in exchange for - you guessed it - sex.
I'm not ready yet, and I'm gonna stand up for my own drama this time.After all, it's not a good story without some ups and downs, and I'm going for an epic here.
So you're in for a big treat: I'm gonna give you the mess, the fun, the action, the backstage...everything that goes behind them shiny and well-ironed final products, starting with this post.
Whoooa! Who would ever guess the videogame and anime-loving cat lady has a taste for adventure?